Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
