OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You dont lie about slip and slides
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
