Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize