We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
