You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
