Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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