Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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