the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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