Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
