I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
