It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
