3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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