i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
