Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
