***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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