Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
