ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
