i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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