so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
