I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
