i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
