The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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