can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have already put on my inside pants.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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