why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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