His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
