turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
