Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
