Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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