we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
