Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
