conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
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