What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
