Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
