He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
