I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
