you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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