wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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