if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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