this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
