Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
