I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize