girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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