Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
