wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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