I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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