yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Shame - the story of my life.
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