And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
