I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I need water and some morals
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
