I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish you could order shots online.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
