I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
