I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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