It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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