here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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