No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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