I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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