You work out of a Hotel?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
