What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
