So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
