I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
