Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
