shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
