Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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