I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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