I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize